Non-communication time
Hey,
So I've decided that I want to communicate with you later, and to not communicate with you for a while. In the meantime, though, I'm going to use this blog to write down what I want to say to you; and really, whether you read it or not in the future, it doesn't really matter.
I want to give you some time now with your life, with settling into your new job et al, and to not interfere. The last thing I want to do is to be the Ex-Boyfriend hankering after you, harassing you in the way that I was harassed, interfering with your life and trying to wiggle into your life when you want to live a life on your own and not be under my shadow, so to speak.
I'm really glad for you that your life is turning out to be good now, with your new confirmed job, and all this work which is occupying your time! It's good, no? And it seems to be a potentially good launching pad for you.
Hey, by the way, I wanted to tell you that I really like you music mix which you had made on my computer. I had it on my iPod, and it's a really good and smooth mix of music: you have a real ear for DJ-ing, and you really should consider doing it.
It's hard letting go, and sometimes I feel down and depressed, like I did two days ago. It helps to meditate, which I've been doing a lot of. Maybe it wouldn't take so long for me to get out of samsara ("Next Station ... Nibbana") afterall...
That said, I really want to continue being your friend. So maybe in order to do that, I should just give you some time alone, I think. As I said before, I need the time alone as well, to be by myself, to relax, to be happy.
And I am happy being single, right now. I attended this vipassana meditation session last night, and it helped tremendously in calming my mind down. Especially after the night before, when I was so full of angst and tension that I was unable to sleep at all, last night was a huge relief to be sitting in a giant meditation hall, with my mind calmed down and feeling a lot better about things than previously. The metta bhavana was especially helpful in sorting out the knots within me, and I can't help but think that maybe, that might be helpful for you too.
On to personal matters, I told my parents that I was going to help JM. My mother advised me to tell my father that I was doing this to help JM, and thankfully, I listened to her: it worked like a dream. He didn't scream or shout or react angrily the way he does when he feels sad; rather, he just asked a few questions and then left it at that. Later on he told my mother that "yeah, it is a good idea for him to do it for a year or so, let him see how things are living by himself..."
:D
I'm so excited about living by myself now, you've no idea....
:D :D :D
So I've decided that I want to communicate with you later, and to not communicate with you for a while. In the meantime, though, I'm going to use this blog to write down what I want to say to you; and really, whether you read it or not in the future, it doesn't really matter.
I want to give you some time now with your life, with settling into your new job et al, and to not interfere. The last thing I want to do is to be the Ex-Boyfriend hankering after you, harassing you in the way that I was harassed, interfering with your life and trying to wiggle into your life when you want to live a life on your own and not be under my shadow, so to speak.
I'm really glad for you that your life is turning out to be good now, with your new confirmed job, and all this work which is occupying your time! It's good, no? And it seems to be a potentially good launching pad for you.
Hey, by the way, I wanted to tell you that I really like you music mix which you had made on my computer. I had it on my iPod, and it's a really good and smooth mix of music: you have a real ear for DJ-ing, and you really should consider doing it.
It's hard letting go, and sometimes I feel down and depressed, like I did two days ago. It helps to meditate, which I've been doing a lot of. Maybe it wouldn't take so long for me to get out of samsara ("Next Station ... Nibbana") afterall...
That said, I really want to continue being your friend. So maybe in order to do that, I should just give you some time alone, I think. As I said before, I need the time alone as well, to be by myself, to relax, to be happy.
And I am happy being single, right now. I attended this vipassana meditation session last night, and it helped tremendously in calming my mind down. Especially after the night before, when I was so full of angst and tension that I was unable to sleep at all, last night was a huge relief to be sitting in a giant meditation hall, with my mind calmed down and feeling a lot better about things than previously. The metta bhavana was especially helpful in sorting out the knots within me, and I can't help but think that maybe, that might be helpful for you too.
On to personal matters, I told my parents that I was going to help JM. My mother advised me to tell my father that I was doing this to help JM, and thankfully, I listened to her: it worked like a dream. He didn't scream or shout or react angrily the way he does when he feels sad; rather, he just asked a few questions and then left it at that. Later on he told my mother that "yeah, it is a good idea for him to do it for a year or so, let him see how things are living by himself..."
:D
I'm so excited about living by myself now, you've no idea....
:D :D :D
posted by keninabu at 6:03 PM
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